Hope

I love my older brother! Like many siblings, may not have seen eye-to-eye in the past, but he sure knows how to help when I need it!

He emailed me a great job with the state! He's going to help me work on my resume and put in a good word for me. Fingers crossed!

It was nice to have something positive. I've applied for five promising jobs now. I hope something comes through soon. Walking into the office is very uncomfortable. And working at the home is arduous. All I can think about is counting down the time until I get home. Once home, though, I'm met with silence and tears as my spouse tries to cope with her change in position.

The only thing I have to hold onto right now is church. I've actually been attending services regularly, even going to mass on weekdays when work permits. This year's Lent has been amazing. I gave up Facebook and Twitter (a very significant sacrifice for me) and going out to eat. I have saved money quite a bit of money due to that last one! Good thing, too! We've got savings to float us by if anything else happens between now and the new job!

I keep thinking that this is all for a reason. Looking back through my life, I can now clearly see my trageties had positive outcomes nearly every time. This current rough patch has motivated a positive change in me. I'm still fighting to overcome the anger and resentment I feel toward a few people, but I just have to remind myself that they are doing what they feel is best for them and the company.

Since I'm becoming so adept at entering my personal information online for job applications, I figured I may as well fill out a FASFA application and head back to school this fall. I need a degree! I was too settled in my employment! My mother always said to never be content! Always strive to better your situation! I guess I? Learning this the hard way, but learning it nonetheless!

Now the magic question is: what degree? I was studying socia work, but that's out of the running now. I've contemplated business management, marketing, or journalism. I'd like to be a writer, but not the unemployed type. I'm realistic. I'll write in my spare time, but keep a job with healthcare!

And speaking of healthcare, 30 is coming up faster than expected! I went to the doctor today because I keep getting food stuck in my throught. It's been so painful. I have severe acid reflux. Yay. Solution? Lots of Prilosec, no caffiene (eek!), and weight loss. Yay. Tons of fun. Yippee. (I do hope my monotonous sarcasm is adequately conveyed.)

Well, I guess I'll take the bad with the good!

lost_in_ogden

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