lost_in_ogden
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Sunday, April 24, 2011
Rebirth
Lent is over. It's bittersweet because this was my first real Lent and I learned so much! I'm an ex-mormon turned American Catholic. (I was baptized this morning!) The spiritual journey of Lent had such an impact on me that I took the plunge! I am so grateful for God helping me through tough times and celebrating our successes! Things are looking up! With God, I CAN do this!
lost_in_ogden
lost_in_ogden
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Hope
I love my older brother! Like many siblings, may not have seen eye-to-eye in the past, but he sure knows how to help when I need it!
He emailed me a great job with the state! He's going to help me work on my resume and put in a good word for me. Fingers crossed!
It was nice to have something positive. I've applied for five promising jobs now. I hope something comes through soon. Walking into the office is very uncomfortable. And working at the home is arduous. All I can think about is counting down the time until I get home. Once home, though, I'm met with silence and tears as my spouse tries to cope with her change in position.
The only thing I have to hold onto right now is church. I've actually been attending services regularly, even going to mass on weekdays when work permits. This year's Lent has been amazing. I gave up Facebook and Twitter (a very significant sacrifice for me) and going out to eat. I have saved money quite a bit of money due to that last one! Good thing, too! We've got savings to float us by if anything else happens between now and the new job!
I keep thinking that this is all for a reason. Looking back through my life, I can now clearly see my trageties had positive outcomes nearly every time. This current rough patch has motivated a positive change in me. I'm still fighting to overcome the anger and resentment I feel toward a few people, but I just have to remind myself that they are doing what they feel is best for them and the company.
Since I'm becoming so adept at entering my personal information online for job applications, I figured I may as well fill out a FASFA application and head back to school this fall. I need a degree! I was too settled in my employment! My mother always said to never be content! Always strive to better your situation! I guess I? Learning this the hard way, but learning it nonetheless!
Now the magic question is: what degree? I was studying socia work, but that's out of the running now. I've contemplated business management, marketing, or journalism. I'd like to be a writer, but not the unemployed type. I'm realistic. I'll write in my spare time, but keep a job with healthcare!
And speaking of healthcare, 30 is coming up faster than expected! I went to the doctor today because I keep getting food stuck in my throught. It's been so painful. I have severe acid reflux. Yay. Solution? Lots of Prilosec, no caffiene (eek!), and weight loss. Yay. Tons of fun. Yippee. (I do hope my monotonous sarcasm is adequately conveyed.)
Well, I guess I'll take the bad with the good!
lost_in_ogden
He emailed me a great job with the state! He's going to help me work on my resume and put in a good word for me. Fingers crossed!
It was nice to have something positive. I've applied for five promising jobs now. I hope something comes through soon. Walking into the office is very uncomfortable. And working at the home is arduous. All I can think about is counting down the time until I get home. Once home, though, I'm met with silence and tears as my spouse tries to cope with her change in position.
The only thing I have to hold onto right now is church. I've actually been attending services regularly, even going to mass on weekdays when work permits. This year's Lent has been amazing. I gave up Facebook and Twitter (a very significant sacrifice for me) and going out to eat. I have saved money quite a bit of money due to that last one! Good thing, too! We've got savings to float us by if anything else happens between now and the new job!
I keep thinking that this is all for a reason. Looking back through my life, I can now clearly see my trageties had positive outcomes nearly every time. This current rough patch has motivated a positive change in me. I'm still fighting to overcome the anger and resentment I feel toward a few people, but I just have to remind myself that they are doing what they feel is best for them and the company.
Since I'm becoming so adept at entering my personal information online for job applications, I figured I may as well fill out a FASFA application and head back to school this fall. I need a degree! I was too settled in my employment! My mother always said to never be content! Always strive to better your situation! I guess I? Learning this the hard way, but learning it nonetheless!
Now the magic question is: what degree? I was studying socia work, but that's out of the running now. I've contemplated business management, marketing, or journalism. I'd like to be a writer, but not the unemployed type. I'm realistic. I'll write in my spare time, but keep a job with healthcare!
And speaking of healthcare, 30 is coming up faster than expected! I went to the doctor today because I keep getting food stuck in my throught. It's been so painful. I have severe acid reflux. Yay. Solution? Lots of Prilosec, no caffiene (eek!), and weight loss. Yay. Tons of fun. Yippee. (I do hope my monotonous sarcasm is adequately conveyed.)
Well, I guess I'll take the bad with the good!
lost_in_ogden
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Burnout
I've been in the human service industry for seven years, seven LONG years. I'm so done. I've gone from seeing incredible success, incredible failure, new chances for life, and a long painful death. I've seen the products of the most horrific abuse and the results of compassionate teamwork. I thought I'd seen it all.
But last week was a kick in the ass. I saw a company cast out one of their most compassionate and dedicated employees all because of politics, gossip, "professionalism," and less-than-desirable looks. This employee is my spouse, so I'll admit some bias. I also work for the same company (big mistake - taking work home everynight has been awful). I was suspended while an "investigation into a brach of confidentiality" was conducted. I got news for them. There was no breach, only a disgruntled former employee who batted her little 19 year old eyelashes to make herself look innocent. I was cleared of any wrongdoing, but my spouse was demoted for vague reasons. Theonly thing we can figure is that the higher-ups think sje helped me fight my suspension, which was SO not the case. [In fact, the moment I was suspended, my spouse blamed me for it and was convinced I was in the wrong.) The real story was never revealed as to why this has happened, why our boss (who helped us plan our wedding and was our friend!) has suddenly turned on us without even the courtesy of an honest explanation.
So, we're both still employed, but how can anyone comeback from this with a smile on their face? And why does this seem to happen in this industry? It's a rarety to see someone of aquired years in this line of work. In our company, I can count on one hand the number of employees who have lasted longer than 5 years. Because of the liability involved in caring for other human beings, there is no room for forgiveness or mercy with employees. I don't know how that could ever change.
So, I'm looking for alternate employment. I need a Monday through Friday, 9am to 5pm job with full benefits, stability, and a pay of at least $12 an hour. Any ideas? Yeah. I know. I'm screwed. Perhaps I shouldn't have left college. Eff me.
Still trying to find hope,
lost_in_ogden
But last week was a kick in the ass. I saw a company cast out one of their most compassionate and dedicated employees all because of politics, gossip, "professionalism," and less-than-desirable looks. This employee is my spouse, so I'll admit some bias. I also work for the same company (big mistake - taking work home everynight has been awful). I was suspended while an "investigation into a brach of confidentiality" was conducted. I got news for them. There was no breach, only a disgruntled former employee who batted her little 19 year old eyelashes to make herself look innocent. I was cleared of any wrongdoing, but my spouse was demoted for vague reasons. Theonly thing we can figure is that the higher-ups think sje helped me fight my suspension, which was SO not the case. [In fact, the moment I was suspended, my spouse blamed me for it and was convinced I was in the wrong.) The real story was never revealed as to why this has happened, why our boss (who helped us plan our wedding and was our friend!) has suddenly turned on us without even the courtesy of an honest explanation.
So, we're both still employed, but how can anyone comeback from this with a smile on their face? And why does this seem to happen in this industry? It's a rarety to see someone of aquired years in this line of work. In our company, I can count on one hand the number of employees who have lasted longer than 5 years. Because of the liability involved in caring for other human beings, there is no room for forgiveness or mercy with employees. I don't know how that could ever change.
So, I'm looking for alternate employment. I need a Monday through Friday, 9am to 5pm job with full benefits, stability, and a pay of at least $12 an hour. Any ideas? Yeah. I know. I'm screwed. Perhaps I shouldn't have left college. Eff me.
Still trying to find hope,
lost_in_ogden
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
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